All too often I see some of the smartest and most talented people on the team struggle to gain support from peers or respect from leadership. They often have unique perspectives, insightful analysis, creative ideas, and otherwise important contributions to offer. The organization does not benefit from their skills, and the loyal, dedicated, passionate employee becomes disenfranchised.
Time is a zero-sum game and often we buckle under its stress. There is a sense of urgency to make a proposal, reach a consensus, take a decision, execute a plan, or conclude a project. Business moves at the speed of thought and there’s a feeling that if one does not keep up, they will be left behind. We exist in an “executive brief” or “cut to the chase” culture.
It’s no wonder that many of the best and brightest, who have clear visions of future status and methodology of achieving those goals, become frustrated with long meetings in which everyone must be heard, and every idea debated. The elite squirm in their chairs, fight to hold their tongues, and wring their hands, just waiting for the opportunity to pounce. They already know what to do and how to do it, and (tick-tock Clarice) time is quickly running out.
The savants among us, however, often are in rapture of their own ideas that they forget (or never bothered to realize) that a) others don’t like to feel stupid, b) others don’t want to be patronized, c) others can’t see 15 moves ahead on the “chess board,” so they need to understand your thought process before they can accept your conclusions, and d) you’re still on a team and others must feel like they are important contributors as well – they need to feel a sense of ownership in decisions.
Life, and especially work, is a psychological and sociological game. Intellectuals often proudly claim that they will not play “the game.” Everyone is in the game whether you choose to play or not. The first choice one needs to make is whether you want to be right or if you want to win. Usually, you can’t do both.
There is a third way. It takes patience and empathy. First, take a deep breath and calm the hell down. In a meeting, let others have their say. Let them get their thoughts out. Agree with anything you can and everyone you can. Then, share your “concerns” about those very thoughtful proposals. Finally, offer a solution to those concerns. In this way you’re building on their ideas rather than dismissing them and presenting new ideas as your own.
Similarly, when someone asks for help with a "quick" project, requests a new project with a tight deadline, or expects a project completed in an unreasonably short time, the reflexive answer is, “no.” (or some variation) You don’t want to be perceived as an impediment to progress, or the person who is focused on what can't be done rather than how to get things done. Start with “yes,” and let the “but” follow. Again, in this situation, you have more information and insight than the requester.
Starting with “yes” keeps you on the same team. You’re a collaborator – a facilitator. “Yes, that’s a great idea and I agree we should do that, but I just need to let my manager know before I shift priorities.” If the request is from your boss, then “Yes, of course. No problem. Here’s what I’m currently working on, or here are my current priorities and deadlines… let’s discuss how we reprioritize or shift the projects currently in the queue so we can make that happen.”
The answer may become a “no” or a “not right now,” but a) you’ll have alignment regarding expectations and priorities, b) you were not the obstacle or roadblock, and c) you’re viewed as a person who says “yes” and finds a way to get things done.
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